Public Speakers

Have you ever encountered a speaker who treated the audience like they were kindergarteners? And did they, in return, respond like kindergarteners? I feel as though I am the only one who is annoyed by this practice and am the sole person in any given crowd who refuses to participate. I will explain.

I have been to different meetings that have featured speakers. Sometimes these speakers seem to be on power trips. For example, they may say, “Did you know that every year over forty billion square miles of rainforest are bulldozed?” And they will then force your participation by saying something like, “Say it with me now: Forty billion square miles”. Other times, they will make their audience repeat certain individual key words. “Now, the process of water vapor molecules condensing onto aerosols is called condensation. Everybody say “condensation”.  And what is surprising to me is that almost everybody does say “condensation” like a bunch of developmentally stunted children trapped in the bodies of adults.

Why encourage these control-freak speakers? Am I the only one who sits there silently with my arms crossed wondering what in God’s name the benefit of repeating a word could be? This is acceptable in second grade. In adulthood, it is not. The only logical conclusion I can arrive at as to the motivation of these speakers to evoke a response in unison from the crowd is that they – although most likely unintentionally – enjoy the feeling of power that is derived from controlling the masses, in even the most insignificant way. It also may instill within them a feeling of confidence that they are not being boring speakers. They may feel that as long as the audience is participating – albeit forced participation – they are doing a good job.

Whatever their motivation, I find it unacceptably annoying. The unacceptability of it lies within the sheer pointlessness of the practice. An audience repeating a word or phrase they have just heard serves no practical purpose and is entirely unnecessary. So, if you are a speaker, please stop doing this. I am only a man. I can only take so much. One day I will snap, and on that day it would be in your best interest not to be the speaker who through verbal controlling mechanisms attempted to force my participation. I will lose control and succumb to an insane fury, unleashing my wrath by saying something terrible like, “Golly dang it, I have had just about enough!” And that’ll learn you good.