Insomnia

I am sitting here trying to manufacture inspiration within myself, trying to muster up some great, fun topic I can write about but no enlightening epiphany strikes me. I do this because I can feel that sleep, once again, will avoid me tonight as it has done so regularly in my relatively distant past. So I write, or aspire to, in order to consume time until weariness consumes me. Until recently, I had been finding sleep coming easily to me these past two years and nine months.

I understand these daytime naps I take only exacerbate the situation but during daylight hours fatigue weighs heavily on me, multiplying the force of gravity, and I inevitably succumb, often only briefly, to slumber. I require rejuvenation several times a day. I burn out like a malnourished, emaciated sloth climbing the tallest tree in the known universe.

Maybe I have hypoglycemia. Maybe I have grown weary of life itself. Either way, I am finding with more frequency that when the time comes for sleep – at night when it is natural -- gravity does not multiply, but divides, and I am too weightless to fall into my bed with any measure of comfortability.

It has not become a life-changing issue as of yet. I am getting plenty of sleep regardless of when it comes to me and most of the time it is within the parameters of my circadian rhythm. I am merely stating my concern that it could flower into a consuming and maddening issue once again, a brand new destroyer of peace that will, against my will, require my attention and effort.

I have mentioned earlier (not in the facebook note, but in this lengthy manuscript that encompasses all the segments of my musings which I occasionally post to facebook) that the Bible states, “Much study wearies the body”, and the Bible has never been wrong. I know from experience that this is true. Perhaps the proactive remedy is to study something an hour or so before bed. That is what I will do if this gets out of hand.

As for the time being, gravity has pressed itself upon me earlier than I had anticipated. My mind has slowed, or retarded if you will, and my typing errors have become even more frequent than they normally are. I fear my grammar has taken a dive as well but I can’t be sure, and I can’t trust myself to make the proper revisions. I am in a very different state of mind than I was when I began this segment a mere several minutes ago. Writing wearies the body. That is probably in the Bible as well. Another tactic I may employ. Goodnight.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzz z zz   zzz     z z    zz z     z   z………….

Or so I thought. It has been about an hour since I wrote the last paragraph. Within that hour I tossed and turned from side to side, hallucinated little red bugs on my pillow, turned the lights on to see the bugs, realized I was hallucinating – or half dreaming rather – fairly soon because it has become standard, almost nightly routine, and woke up and got back on the computer. This blows.

Before, I had attributed lack of sleep to lack of physical action during the day. When I was sitting around all day I could not sleep at night because my body was not in need of recovery. But today I went to class, studied, ran an errand or two, worked out, and did my laundry. I was busy the whole day. There wasn’t much sitting around time. So I am not sure what else I can do. Sometimes after I rise from my bed after laying awake in it, I just keep busy for a while watching youtube videos or something non productive as such. Often times it doesn’t take much time before I am able to fall back into bed and find sleep, this time successfully. So I’ll give it another shot here. It better work. There is nothing more infuriating than not being able to sleep.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…………….

It worked. Not right away, but eventually I fell asleep. It is the following morning now. I did not suffer any further insectile hallucinations. I think I fell asleep around 2:00, woke up at around 3:30 for a minute or two and then fell back asleep, waking up for good at 8:00. Not bad, but I can do better. Any tricks anyone has for falling asleep, any advice at all, will be welcome. Jon says melatonin works well. I may pick some of that up if my insomniac trend continues. I can’t drink myself to sleep. It’s too expensive and I would probably wet the bed. Sometimes I dream of peeing in a giant bathroom full of urinals and when I wake up I AM peeing, but in my bed rather than in a giant bathroom full of urinals. This is actually fairly rare, thank goodness.