The Hedonist Army

These girls have been instant messaging me. They start conversing normally but very soon they reveal their true motives. They inform you that they are “models” for some website -- webcam.com or something -- where you get to watch them do things for the low low price of just five dollars for twenty-four hours of viewing time.

Soon after talking with the first webcam girl – seriously, how many of these girls are out there? – I grasped the situation and wrote, “This is the part where you ask for my credit card number, isn’t it?” She said that she wasn’t asking for it, the company was. Anyone who gives out their information to a site like this deserves to be ripped off. The horrible stupidity of it all…

I know how to get rid of these worldly types. It is startlingly simple and even pathetically humorous. These are the kinds of people who live for stimulation of one kind or another – drugs, sex, money. They are hedonists and the one thing they can’t stand is to have to think about something REAL or MEANINGFUL. If you want to test your hedonism, just note how uncomfortable you get when thinking about anything that actually means something. Also, if you listen to rap, there’s a good chance you are hedonistic.

All I had to do was start talking about the comparison between fleeting satisfaction and lasting fulfillment and it was enough to scare her off. She did not want to think about that at all. They never do. They live for gratification, which we all do to some extent so I guess I shouldn’t be getting too self-righteous.  

I told the next girl that tried to get me to sign up for webcam.com that I started talking about deep things and it scared off the last “model” and she gave me an LOL. She seemed less shallow, but still shallow because she did leave shortly thereafter, which I suppose was my intention for her. Although I wouldn’t have minded having a normal conversation, these girls had money to make. I understood.

So remember: deep thinking scares shallow people. If you need to rid yourself of these pests, just fumigate them with a cloud of topics like; “Who am I on the inside”, “Where did I come from”, or maybe “What really is right and wrong”. They will flee from you, fearing the idea of having to examine some important aspect of life rather than just riding through it in a flurry of sensations, stimulations and self gratification. Start talking to them about Jesus, they will run like hell. It’s very simple. Now you know. You’re welcome.