Gullible

This little rant of mine has to prefaced with this; I am really, really… really gullible sometimes. Instantaneously I believed in, and was astounded by, the tree-climbing octopus when I read of it in the pages of Terry Pratchett’s (the lying bastard) book, Nation. If somebody had brought up octopi while I was reading this I would have said, “Did you know that there are octopi that live in trees? It’s true, I know it for a fact. It’s in this book I’m reading.” 

                I have always hoped that I wasn’t one of those people who believe in things just because they want to believe in them. I have even convinced myself that I was not one of those people. But I really wanted to believe in an intelligent species of arboreal octopi that hunted small birds and did other slimy, many-armed things while up in the canopy of a woods. I am humbled to have found that I am just another person who believes what he wants to believe.

                It did strike me as odd that an octopus could be a land-dwelling animal. The nature of its hide, all moist and glistening with slime, seems to suggest that it could at the very best be amphibious, but not entirely land-dwelling. So I researched the tree-climbing octopus and after viewing some amateur youtube videos that were more embarrassing than anything, I found an article that discussed this legend.

                From the article, I have arrive at this conclusion: At some point an octopus was seen on land, and maybe even in a tree, and from that, the tale of the tree-climbing octopus was formed. I am sure they don’t dwell anywhere past the surface of the water because among many other reasons, their hide would not be slick and smooth, but more reptilian I think. And they would have no need for a siphon. Or suction cups. They wouldn’t even really be octopi at all. They would be quivering, gelatinous, awkward creatures, ill-equipped for a life on land, and probably suicidal.

                The article I found has provided me with enough evidence to arrive at the conclusion that Terry Pratchett’s (the lying liar) tree-climbing octopus is an embellishment of the existing animal. I believe in the accounts of octopi climbing mangrove trees (why would anyone make something like that up?) but I doubt that they made little nests and lived up there snatching birds from the air. That’s just dumb. Who would believe something like that…